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| 10 Things That Can Improve
Your Marriage Now! |
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- Be kind. Don’t say something so
ugly to your spouse you would never think about saying
it to someone you work with.
- Catch ‘em doing something right. It’s so
easy to see everything your spouse does that confirms just
how awful they are. Switch your focus to catch them doing
something right - no matter how small - and then tell them
about it. (Besides, this will throw them completely off balance!)
- Go do
something fun…and it wouldn’t be
fun to bring up anything that has been a problem; so don’t.
Just remember what it was like to enjoy an activity together
by doing something fun and keeping the conversation light.
- If you’re chasing your spouse (to resolve problems
or get your needs met) STOP! If you’re distancing yourself
from your spouse, STOP! This is a classic pattern we’ll
teach you about later.
- Want something to be different? Then
stop doing the same thing! Systems theory tells us that to
change anything in the system changes the whole system. So
do something different and make sure it complies with #1
(be kind).
- Don’t assume you’re a mind reader or that you’re married
to one. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them feel loved and cared for.
People speak different love languages and we’ll teach you how to speak
your spouse’s. For right now, ask.
- Value your spouses differences. You have strengths where
they have weaknesses and they have strengths where you have
weaknesses. It’s
one of the main attractions - they have what you need. Now value
it!
- Do or say one nice thing each day whether
they recognize it or not. You’re making deposits
in your “trust
account” and someday you’ll have a
nice little stash.
- Tell your spouse one thing you like
about them or one thing that attracted you to them. Everybody needs to
be reminded they are valuable, especially to the person
that means the most.
- Look at your kids (or pictures of your
kids). You are modeling what a marriage should look like. Show them you can do
it and they can do it, too.
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